


Healing Hands

by wordscavenger



Series: Forget Not The Legacy [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: East Baltimore Lift, Finn saving people, M/M, Minor Injuries, Post TFA, Pre-Slash, Serious Injuries, Stormpilot, Tracheotomy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6043110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordscavenger/pseuds/wordscavenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Finn's future with the Resistance doesn't lie in contributing only with the skills he's known for: Weapons, ground control, hand-to-hand combat. Maybe he's been destined for something else all along.</p><p>Sequel to "Dance of the Desert Sun" and "Pocketful of Gordian Knots"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing Hands

**Author's Note:**

> I am in no way well-versed in medical practices and I’m sorry for all this medical stuff I know it’s a little different. The procedures Finn performs are a Tracheotomy and the East Baltimore Lift. I got the information about the Tracheotomy off of this site: http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-a-Tracheotomy so if this procedure is completely wrong I apologize. The same goes for the East Baltimore Lift, which I got off of my Royal Pains Netflix binge last summer.

The first time Finn saved a life, he was twelve.

“I think Five-Eight is lost.”

He wasn’t Finn then. Didn’t know he’d ever be called anything that didn’t end in a number. But at the time that didn’t matter since he wasn’t sure he’d even survive the day.

Because they were in fact actually lost.

But he wasn’t going to say anything. FN-0958 had a bit of a temper and bullied his way to junior squad leader so Eight-Seven and the two other advancement year twelve trainees, FN-01915 and FN-01944, let him have his way. They were placed in small groups and had three days to complete the trek. Once they returned, the next group of trainees would embark on their journey. When Eight-Five joined their group they all knew he was one of the more competent trainees in their year and when it came time for the Annual Advancement Survival Trial, though just called The Trial by the trainees, they did not hesitate to let Five-Eight lead them. He had scored high marks in geolocation and tracking, and wanted the responsibility anyway.

Unfortunately that’s where everything went a bit wrong.

Starting with advancement year ten every trainee took their turns to apply the skillsets taught to them leading up to that first Trial year. For hundreds of miles along the outer ridges of their development and advancement facility for future Stormtroopers the landscape had been warped and changed so that each side would inhabit the conditions similar to what other planet surface’s entailed. Waterless deserts, Snowcapped mountains, thick forests and bodies of salt and fresh water that stretched for ages. During their advancement years they would visit each section twice to test their abilities. If they succeeded in reaching the end of the near-lifeless lands that rimmed the planet and made it back without contacting base for help, or dying, they were allowed to graduate to the next advancement year.   

There’s more to their graduation, to the whole process of how one is raised to become a true Stormtrooper, but the story of how and where Finn was during his infancy and eventual evolution to becoming a cadet is one for another time.

Now, in a stretch of forest near-full of dead foliage and cracked lands, an unforgiving sun flanked by two pale moons watched three boys sitting in a small circle and one standing away from them looking at his datapad and walking back and forth.

“We’re going to die out here.” One-Five moaned as he threw a rock at the distance just for something to do.

“Don’t be stupid.” Four-Four said, glancing over at Eight-Seven. “No one dies this early in the Trial.”

“Right.” One-Five said sarcastically. “They just put all this time and effort to wait for the advancement year eighteens to weed out the ones who aren’t fit to become cadets.” He sighed and dragged his sack closer to him to open it. “Can’t even imagine being here without half the stuff we have already.”

Eight-Seven said nothing as he watched One-Five dig into his pack. He knew they were in trouble if they waited too long to move on and find shelter for the night. Once the sun set and the two moons fully rose the temperature would dive dangerously low.

Each year during the Trial they were forced to utilize less tools and utensils than the year before. It was a test to rely further on the skills from their training so that the Order could rely on them to become self-sufficient soldiers for their cause.

But Eight-Seven really hated the thought of being stuck out here without water.    

Speaking of which…

“Stop drinking all your water One-Five.” Four-Four yelled, shoving at the boy. “I’m not giving you any of mine if you run out.”

One-Five rolled his eyes before closing his canteen and tossing it back into his pack. “Fine.” He nodded towards a small cluster of trees blackened by the sun curled and hunched together. “I’ll be back. Hopefully by then he’ll know where we’re supposed to go.” He looked over to Five-Eight with annoyance before walking away.

Four-Four and Eight-Seven were quiet for a moment before Four-Four said quietly. “You-you don’t think we’re going to die out here do you?”

Eight-seven shot the boy a look. “We’re not going to die. The training officer gave Five-Eight a com to contact them if something goes wrong.”

“Yeah.” Four-Four said. “Like one of us dying.”

Eight-Seven sighed, annoyed at the boy’s fixation with their apparent impending demise, then stood and walked over to the boy walking back and forth with the datapad. “Need any help?” He asked when he got closer.

Five-Eight gave him the response he was expecting. Narrowed eyes shot him a stern look before he said. “No. I’ve almost got it.” Then he turned and walked away.

Eight-Seven placed his hands on his hips and kicked at the dirt, annoyed that their squad leader wouldn’t involve them in this problem. Half the purpose of the Trial was to learn how to work together as a team, but that hadn’t happened once since they left. He turned to head back to sit with Four-Four, then noticed something in the distance.

One-Five. On the ground by the trees.

Not moving.

“Man down!” Eight-Seven yelled and took off running as fast as he could towards the fallen boy. When he reached him he slid to a stop on the ground, dust rising and settling around him like a dark cloud. He could hear the others quickly catching up.

“What’s wrong with him?” Eight-Seven yelled as he slid up to them, kicking more dust around.

One-Five was on his back, his hands around his throat with his eyes bulging as wide as his mouth as he unsuccessfully tried to draw in air.

“He’s not breathing.” Eight-Seven said and slid his pack off his back to begin rummaging through it.

“What? Why?” Four-Four said, looking around at what could have caused their friend to get sick so quickly. “There.” He said after a moment, pointing to the trees. Blood red berries grew in a small batch at the base of the tree, but a small section of it was empty. Some were scattered around the writhing boy and thin red patches of it smeared his hands. “He must have eaten those and got sick from them.” Eight-Seven said as he recalled words from basic field med training: Allergic. Anaphylaxis. Shock.

Four-Four turned to Five-Eight. “Use the com. Call base and get them out here.”

Five-Eight blinked in surprise before he took a step back. “What? No. No! If we call for any reason we won’t graduate.”

“If we don’t call he dies!” Four-Four screamed back lunging at the boy who jumped out of his reach.

“It’s not my fault if he consumed unapproved foraged sustenance. I won’t fail because of him-“

“Will you two shut up and help me?” Eight-Seven screamed as he tried to pry One-Five’s hands from his throat. “Four-Four hold his hands down. Five-Eight steady his head.”

“What are you going to do?” Five-Eight asked.

“He’ll never make it until help arrives. We need to get him air now.” Eight-Seven said, taking out a small med kit and a knife.

As soon as One-Five saw the knife he tried to jerk away but he was weak from losing so much oxygen. His lips were already turning blue as Five-Eight tilted his head back and kept it there, now knowing where this was going.

“There’s no anesthetic.” Eight-Seven said apologetically, as it was one of the tools they were not allowed during this year’s Trial. “But the tools are unused and clean.” _I can do this_ , he tried to tell himself. He looked up at Five-Eight and said in a voice bearing no room for question. “As soon, and I mean the very millisecond I get the tube into his throat, you call base. Do you understand?”

Five-Eight looked into Eight-Seven’s eyes and didn’t even hesitate before he nodded.

It was not the first time Eight-Seven had done this procedure. It was, however, the first time he had ever done it on a living person in the unreliable terrain of the Trial. They had had extensive first aid practice, but he had never expected to practice it in reality. Not yet.

Well…no time like the present.

“Don’t move, or you’ll die.” Four-Four said to the boy below him as he watched Eight-Seven gather the tools he would need.

Steadying his hands with a calmness he drew from years of training, he slowly recalled each step of the procedure through slow detailed steps. The tilting of the head, the gentle slit in the neck, and the ever so gradual easement of the tube down the opening. “Four-Four take over for Five-Eight.” He said and as soon as they switched he heard Five-Eight calling base for immediate assistance.

“Hold him steady.” Eight-Seven said and placed his mouth over the straw to draw in a short slow breath to see if he breathed in air. When it did he let go of the straw for a moment then grasped it again to slowly give two breaths lasting about one moment each.

“I think it’s working.” Four-Four said excitedly as Eight-Seven leaned back to watch the boy’s chest rise and fall as his eyes fluttered and his blue lips slowly started faded back to pink. He turned when he heard Five-Eight walk back and crouch down next to him. “ETA five.” He said then shook his head to incredulously regard the boy slowly taking lifesaving breathes through a _hole_ in his throat. “Can’t believe you actually pulled that off.” He patted Eight-Seven’s back proudly before the boy fell to the ground breathing heavily as the adrenaline from what just happened coursed through him.

Eight-Seven splayed himself on the cracked earth and looked up at the sky. The same unforgiving sun flanked by the same two pale moons hovered and watched the same as they did ten minutes ago.

The first time Finn saved a life, he was twelve.

But he was not the same after that.

* * *

 

_Eleven Years Later-Post TFA_

 “For the last time no. If I pull out that coupling poison gas will not fill up the cockpit. Where in the galaxy do you get these ideas?”

Poe looked down at Finn from where he stood on a ladder perched against his X-Wing in the Resistance’s hangar. He tossed down the small gadget in his hands to Finn who caught it smoothly before climbing down to meet his friend on the permacrete.

“Rey.” Finn answered bending down to place the gadget in the tool box. He’d been helping the pilot on the plane’s maintenance for the better part of the morning. He was getting better from his injury every day and soon would be placed in a section of the resistance to help in the war, once he figure out what exactly it was he wanted to do. Though he had no interest in ever becoming a pilot, Finn enjoyed spending time with the pilots, especially Poe, and learning more about something his friend was passionate about: flying and working on his precious fighter plane.

Poe rolled his eyes and was about to ask how that subject ever became a topic of conversation before he suddenly noticed the area looked different than it normally did after hours of tinkering with his plane. It took a moment, then-

“Did-did you clean my area?”

Finn looked up at Poe with a frown as he walked over to a crate to grab his jacket where he had long ago abandoned it for safekeeping after he realized the work they were doing would be more involved, or dirty, than he realized. “What do you mean?”

Poe had to pause as Finn slid his jacket on because it honestly always did things to him that made it hard to concentrate for a few or more moments. He finally shook his head and said, “Um. My area. It’s, well it’s pretty organized.” He swept a hand around them to show that all the boxes were stacked, tools put away and rags tossed into the corner to later be picked up by the cleaning crews.

“Yeah? So-?” Finn began to ask then looked around at all the other planes being worked on by their own pilots. A general mess surrounded them as they worked, but it seemed a normal occurrence and no one seemed to mind. The only other area that slightly resembled theirs was a few planes down where he saw Jess hanging on the ladder against her own plane. Rey, taking a break from self-training while Luke was off planet to help Jess out, was in front of her having a cheerful conversation. 

“Oh. Sorry.” Finn said turning back to Poe and then swallowed nervously before looking down at the organization around them. “Sorry I didn’t realize it would be weird. Keeping your workplace clean was a serious First Order responsibility. I mostly handled deadly weapons so leaving those around was definitely hazardous. And in basic duties sloppiness could get punished-“

Poe cut off Finn when he started rambling, which was even more obvious by the way he ran a hand along the back of his neck which he did when he was nervous, by placing a gentle hand on his elbow. Touch, Poe had learned, when used gently, could be an effective way of helping Finn when he started talking about the Order and was extremely uncomfortable about it. Which was pretty much every time he talked about it.

“Hey buddy. It’s okay.” Poe said, taking a step forward into Finn’s personal space. “Honestly I’m not surprised. I can’t remember the last living space I’ve had that was so clean. Especially with someone else living there. You’re like the best bunkmate slash personal bodyguard ever.” Poe often joked and teased Finn, in a positive way, to help the man break out of his protective shell a bit. He knew Finn could be funny and have a great personality, so he wanted him to feel relaxed and consider the base his home. One of the jokes Poe told to his friends, with an exasperated Finn nearby, was that he was sleeping better at night because he knew the guy in the bed beside him could take anyone out with his pinky. Finn would then often joke back that he didn’t think his pinky skills were all that great but they should see what he could with his thumbs.

At least Poe thought he was joking.

Finn rolled his eyes at Poe’s remark which Poe pleasantly ignored because it also made Finn smile a little bit before he said, “Sure. I’m pretty sure excessive tidiness brought on by being raised by the First Order basically makes me the weirdest person on this base.” Before Poe could comment that Finn was, in fact, not weird at all but actually pretty damn awesome, Finn slid the arm Poe was grasping down until his hand was gently resting on Poe’s. Finn was looking at it nervously before turning back to Poe and said, “But thanks anyway, though, for not minding it.”

Stunned, Poe didn’t know what to say. The heat from Finn’s hand warmed his whole body and he kept trying to will his fingers to curl around the palm.

But Finn didn’t keep his hand there long and eventually stepped away, looking down at the ground and was back to rubbing his hand against his neck. It took everything in Poe to not reach out and grab that hand again.

Instead, Finn cleared his throat and said, “Well. Since I kept track of the clean up want to get out of here a little early and grab some lunch?”

Poe never got to answer.

A surprisingly loud bang echoed in the hanger causing both men to turn to where the noise originated. They both took a step away from the plane to get a closer look, but suddenly a voice shouted, “It’s going to blow. Run!”

Poe didn’t hesitate. Just as he felt Finn grab his jumpsuit he spun around, pushed off his feet and flung them down behind the wall of crates and boxes Finn had stacked when keeping the work area organized.

The explosion was deafening.

He barely heard Finn shout his name and felt him struggled under him to turn them over, something Poe was _not_ about to let happen, before a roar soared above them followed by a blast of heat that seared at his back. A millisecond later Poe cried out in pain as the boxes above were pushed by the force of the inferno started to fall on and around him.

Still he grasped at Finn’s jacket and curled around his body even more as he felt the man desperately try to push him off. 

After what seemed like hours a sharp ringing in his ears pierced his skull and he lifted his head to look at Finn who was looking at him with wide eyes and a frustrated grimace. He seemed to be saying something but before Poe could figure it out he was suddenly being pushed back by Finn and gently rolled onto his side. He didn’t know when he lost the strength to hold onto Finn anymore but all he could see around him were boxes and knew he was useless to anyone until he could learn how to breathe again.

After a few moment he could faintly hear Finn calling his name, and dazed he watched as the man gently began to run his hands over his body. He wasn’t sure why but then the word ‘injuries’ popped into his head and things made a little more sense. He shook his head and tried to stand but Finn pushed him down. Finally he heard a muffled, “Just stay down you crazy-I can’t believe you Poe!” Poe blinked at the sharp tone of Finn’s voice but when he felt hands brought up around his cheeks and Finn’s own face come back into view his eyes and voice were gentle as they asked, “Are you dizzy? Blurry vision?” He tilted Poe’s head back ever so gently, “I know you didn’t hit your head I was watching but does it hurt when I do this?”

Poe reached up and placed a hand on Finn’s chest. It hurt when he spoke but he had to anyway. “Are you okay?”

A flurry of emotions flooded Finn’s eyes and Poe could have sworn they actually shook from handling that much at once but Finn just swallowed and said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Poe said before he repeated, “Are you okay? Did I hurt your back in the fall?”

Finn squeezed his eyes shut and Poe had to wonder if his eyes were just too heavy to handle anything anymore before they flew back open and he desperately said, “I-I’m fine. I’m okay.” Then ever so gently ran a thumb across Poe’s cheek and seemed surprised afterwards, like it was a reflex he didn’t understand, and dropped that hand but just slid the other one down to the side of Poe’s neck. A comforting act both men did when they were worried about the other. “Please answer my questions Poe. Are you-“

“I’m okay.” Poe cut in, trying to sit up once again. Now that he knew Finn was okay he needed to focus on the others in the hanger.

“Poe-” Finn tried to keep the man down, unsure, but Poe forced himself to sit and said, “Clear vision. Even balance. Slight annoying ringing that’s way better now that I can hear your voice.” He grabbed the hand that still rested on his neck. “And my neck and head do hurt but it’s from that loud noise and holding onto you but it’s not bad right now. I promise I will go to the med unit and you can even give me your own physical if you want but after we make sure people are okay.”

Finn reluctantly nodded then stood and helped Poe to stand. After they were both upright they surveyed the damage around them.

It looked like the First Order had attacked but Poe knew that wasn’t true because they would have had warning from their security sensors. The entrance to the hanger was in flames and crews were rushing around it with extinguishers trying to put it out. Some of the planes had tipped onto their sides and Poe counted themselves lucky his X-Wing had been far enough way that it hadn’t tipped onto them. Boxes, crates, utensils and other debris scattered around the hanger and people dogged them to rush around and help those who had been hurt in the blast.

Poe barely had time to take it all in and wonder what happened before he heard Finn yell, “Rey!” and dash past him towards where he had last seen the girl.       

He was close on Finn’s heels, knowing Jess had been near their friend right before the blast. Her plane was still upright but he could see the same scorch marks on her plane that smeared his. He wasn’t sure where to start looking for them before he saw Finn practically dive into a pile fallen crates to push them aside and reveal white fabric peeking out.

Poe was already by his side when Finn grunted out, “Help me please.” and he lifted another crate. The girl was on her stomach, unconscious with her face turned away from them, and Poe could hear the shuddering breaths falling from Finn’s lips as they finally freed her.

“You know how to do a log roll?” Finn asked, already moving to steady her head. Poe desperately scattered around in his memories from basic first aid training and could recall just enough to know that he should be able to pull off the maneuver without hurting the girl.

“On three.” Finn said once Poe was in position. He counted down and they gently rolled Rey onto her back. When she was prostrate Finn immediately began checking her vitals. He looked up when he saw medical crews arrive and asked Poe to flag one down for her.

“She got a pulse and her breathing’s steady. She’s probably a bit concussed and just knocked out.” Finn explained quickly when Poe returned with a man and a stretcher. After they secured her and started taking her out of the hanger Poe was already searching for Jess, calling out her name.

“No sign of her yet?” Finn asked as he jogged past Poe to check a few stretchers of injured pilots being wheeled out of the hanger.

“Poe!” A voice called from further down the hanger. They turned to see Snap skid out and around a tipped plane and wave them over towards him. “Here! We need help!”

They dashed towards the man who was covered in dirt and breathing heavily. “Jess. She’s trapped. We need more hands.”

Poe felt his heart literally stop for a moment before he nodded and followed Snap. It nearly gave out again when he finally saw Jess.

“The blast threw her towards the wall and a grounded Landspeeder pinned her there.” Snap exclaimed as he jogged over to the mobile unit up against the wall with Jess’s unconscious face and limp hand peeking out from behind it.

“Don’t worry Jess we’ll get you out of there.” Poe yelled as adrenaline pumped through him. He wasn’t used to feeling this much energy without the control of a plane to focus on. His mind was jumping for action and he could feel his hands tremble as he grabbed the middle of the speeder with Poe and Snap flanking him on opposite sides of the machine.

“Don’t jerk it. We have to go slow in case she has a spinal injury.” Finn said as he got into position.

“Can’t we just yank her out when we get enough room?” Snap asked. Poe nearly screamed at them to shut up so they could just help his friend, anxious to just move.

Finn shook his head. “We need to pull it out far enough to lay her body down and check her before we move her to safety. We don’t know the extent of her injuries.”

“Okay. Fine. Let’s just do it.” Poe quickly said and they nodded. Once again they counted down until they moved in unison to drag the heavy mobile until away from the injured girl. After a few feet Finn called out, “Okay that should do it.”

They dropped the Landspeeder and ran around to check on the girl. She was moaning and her hips were twisted at an awkward angle as she lay on her stomach. Poe dropped by her head to steady it with his hands as she tried to move. She moaned louder and let out a cracked sob as Finn gently felt his way around the back of her head and neck checking for injuries. “Snap get help.” Poe panted, his guts twisting into a million pieces as Jess sobbed again in pain.

“Wait.” Finn said. “We need to get her onto her back. Her hips are all wrong.”

“Log roll again?” Poe asked and Finn nodded. “As slow and gentle as we can. She’s in a lot of pain.” The three gingerly began to roll her as her moans and whimpers growing louder with each movement until she was awkwardly on her back. 

“Okay. It’s a posterior hip dislocation.” Finn said from the other side of her body. Poe watched as he gently took off her boot and sock before felt around her foot. He frowned deeply before he said, “No pulse. We need to get this fixed as soon as possible or she might lose her leg.”

“Snap get someone now!” Poe nearly shouted but Finn held up a hand. “No wait. There’s no time there’s dozens of injured people out there. It might be a while before someone can look at her.”

“Then what should we do?” Poe asked as Finn waved Snap to come back over towards them.

“Lay her head down gently then come onto her left side.” Finn said as he turned to Snap. “You go to her right.”

Finn positioned himself with her leg in his hands and said, “When I lift her leg reach under it with one arm and each grab the other’s shoulders, almost like creating a bridge.” They did so. “I’m going to extend the hip and rotate inward.” As he spoke he slowly acted out the movements until he heard the click of her hip going back into place causing her to scream in pain. She writhed on the ground for a moment as her eyes rolled back into her head, then fluttered as she passed out.

Finn checked her pulse on her foot again and let out a breath. “She’s got a pulse. She should be okay.” He turned to Snap. “Okay. Now you can grab someone.” He gently lowered her leg and Poe went back to his place in cradling her head.

“Thank the stars.” Snap said and stood. “I hate all this medical stuff.” Then he ran off towards the medics on the other end of the hanger.

Poe let out a shuddering breath before he reached out and grasped Finn on the shoulder, squeezing it tight. “Thank you. Thank you so much Finn.” Poe nearly choked and stumbled on his words but he hopped his friend could hear the gratitude in them.

Nodding, Finn grasped Poe’s hand and said, “Anytime. Anything.” He then stood and continued. “I’m going to check to see if they need anymore help. You okay with Jess until Snap comes back?”

Poe nodded, grabbing Jess’s limp hand to comfort himself more than anything else.

“I’m going to grab another Medic and a stretcher for you.” Finn said looking out towards the others.

“What? But I can help-” Poe began to protest but Finn crossed his arms and shook his head.

“I know you’re not feeling it now Poe but you were hurt when those crates fell on you. The adrenaline is masking the pain and you need to get looked at as soon as possible.” Poe tried to protest again but Finn wasn’t having it. “If I find you out on that hanger I will drag you over to the med unit myself and lock you in an I.C.U. POD until you get cleared by a med droid.” He stepped closer to Poe. “As someone who spent weeks in those things, I suggest you enjoy your future ride to the unit now.”

Gritting his teeth, Poe finally nodded. “Fine. But be careful out there. We’re still not sure what happened and though they’re not evacuating yet things could still change.”

“I will.” Finn said and started to leave, but before he did he crouched down beside Poe and pulled their foreheads together until they were gently touching. “You didn’t have to shield yourself like that for me. But…thank you.”

And then just like that, he was gone.

* * *

 

Poe would most likely never say it out loud, but Finn was right. The adrenaline _was_ masking the pain. As soon as he entered the chaos of the med unit and a droid started poking at him, an immense headache started pounding its way through to the front of his skull and his back stiffened up like a board. He was there a couple of hours under observation and by jumping around to other injured crew being monitored he was able to piece together a bit of what had happened.

No First Order attack. No sabotage or direct attempt to cause harm. Just plain mechanical error. A crate holding blasters was fell out a transport and one discharged and hit a fuel cell causing it to rupture.  

Simple, but destructive. As far as he knew there were no fatalities and when he was finally released he found Rey and then Jess, both of whom were under medical supervision and placed on heavy sedation; unable to do more than mumble and moan at him. He was glad to see they were already on their way to recovery so he left them to do just that. He would visit them again tomorrow with Finn.

Speaking of, when he returned back to their living unit it was empty minus his little droid beeping wildly at him about how he’d gotten injured. He’d left BB-8 there to work on updates and hadn’t thought to let it know what happened. He calmed it down and told it Finn would be back soon when it asked. Poe figured Finn was still working with the medics on helping the injured and though he wanted to head back to the hanger, Finn’s warning echoed loudly in the back of mind, right behind his headache.

His goodbye was also there too, not forgotten.

He decided he would wait up for Finn, who couldn’t be much longer, so he threw back a few painkillers and sat on the couch to go over the report of the incident he knew he would have to turn in tomorrow.

He was out in minutes.

The sound of the door opening woke Poe, who wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep. He faintly heard, “Lights twenty five percent.” And the darkness turned to a slight grey. Blinking past the painkillers Poe saw Finn come into the room, shrugging off his jacket slowly.

“Finn?” Poe mumbled and tried to stand, then quickly discarded that idea when his back twitched in agony and he let out a strangled grunt.

“Poe? Lights forty five percent.” Poe rubbed his eyes as the room grew a little brighter and felt the couch dip beside him and Finn’s hands on his back. He would have sold the man his plane and everyone he knew to have him dig his hands into his sore muscles and rub the pain away.

“What are you doing sleeping on the couch with an injured back?” Finn said, wrapping an arm around Poe to help him stand.

“How’d you know it was definitely injured?” Poe grunted as he stood, then wobbled a bit as the painkillers made their fuzzy presence known.

“I asked at the med unit when I got there.” Finn answered, leading Poe to his bed but then stopped short when Poe stopped.

“The med unit? Did you get hurt?” Poe exclaimed, and tried to blink away the fuzz again to regard Finn.

“No.” Finn said with a small laugh at Poe’s unsteady behavior. “I went to check on you but you’d already been discharged. The med droid told me your back was bruised when the crates fell and you were suffering from a stress induced migraine. They gave you some painkillers and sent you on your way.” He helped Poe gently sit on his bed and then knelt to begin to help him take off his boots as he assumed bending over would be hell on his back. He could relate. “I figured you’d be passed out by now, on your bed, like you should be.” Finn looked up at Poe with a smirk and a curious glance.

“Wanted to wait up for you.” Poe said, his throat tight at the positions they were in. “Wanted to make sure you got back okay.” He knew his voice was above a whisper but it sounded so loud to him.

Finn’s smirk fell and another flick of emotions rushed across his eyes. He finished taking off Poe’s shoes and stood, then gently pushed the man so he was lying down before he sat on the bed beside him.

“I’m sorry for making you leave but I wouldn’t have been able to help anyone else if I was worrying about you. And I know you couldn’t tell but I definitely could see that your back was bothering you.” He watched as Poe wrapped a hand on Finn’s knee and remained silent. “It was pushing it already letting you help with Rey and Jess, but I knew that was a battle better left unfought.”

“Damn right.” Poe muttered, his eyes drooping and body relaxing fast now that he knew Finn was safe. He was silent, enjoying the closeness, before he said, “Where’d you learn all that med stuff?”

“Mm?” Finn said, sounding distracted. Poe forced his eyes open to look at Finn, who blinked at him and looked a little guilty. Poe wasn’t sure of what but he wondered if Finn was enjoying being close to him as much as he was right now.

“The med stuff. Log rolls and fixing Jess’s leg.” Poe asked, shifting a bit so he could look at Finn better, “You were like a super med droid out there.”

Finn shrugged. “First Order training. Didn’t you learn basic med care in your training?”

“Well yeah.” Poe said. “But if you asked me how to do half of what I learned almost ten years ago that doesn’t involve a plane then you’d be severely disappointed.” He scrunched his face as he tried to recall more of that training. “And that wasn’t basic med there.”

 Finn shrugged again and looked at his hands. “Guess I retained more than I realized.” He was quiet for a moment then said, “Can I confess something to you that-that’s kind of rolling around in my head? And if-if it sounds weird to you will you please tell me because I might not be explaining myself correctly?”

Poe’s heart began thundering as his mind flooded with questions as to what Finn might want to say. He took a slow breath to calm himself, not wanting to jump to conclusions, before he sat up a bit and said, “Sure buddy. You can tell me anything.”

Finn remained silent, seeming to gather his thoughts, before he said, “It’s not that I was glad that people were hurt. I hate that. I hated seeing Rey unconscious and Jess crying. But I-I guess I was happy that I could help? That I was finally being useful?” He forced himself to look at Poe, her face set with nerves.

Not expecting this from Finn, Poe considered his words for a few silent moments. “I think I understand what you’re saying buddy. But first, you are incredibly useful.”

Finn scoffed at that. “Poe I’ve pretty much been doing nothing for weeks.” He sighed. “It’s a drain on resources.”

“You recovering from a life threating injury is not nothing and not a drain.” Poe exclaimed forcefully, reaching out to grab Finn’s arm. “On anything or-or anyone.”

They both regarded each other silently, Poe wishing he could convey what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t. Not now.

He cleared his throat. “And I think you should consider what it means; how you feel about what you did today. That it made you happy to help them.”

“I’m not used to using these skills to help people. Normally…normally it was the other way around.” Finn confessed. “Sometimes…” He paused to swallow. “Sometimes I feel like I’m one bad decision from becoming what they raised me to be.” He looked up at Poe. “Bad.”

“Never.” Poe quickly said, squeezing Finn’s arm. “You aren’t bad. You aren’t evil. You aren’t what they wanted you to be. You choose to leave. No one else made that decision for you. You did.” He considered what to say next. “You have specific skill sets designed for hurting people, yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re destined to do that for the rest of your life. You can make another change, Finn. Another decision. You can do something different.” Poe slid his arm off of Finn’s. “Either here or-somewhere else. It’s your choice.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Finn exclaimed, then bit his lip and turned away as Poe caught the slightest hint of a blush on his face. “Or-or the resistance.”

Poe couldn’t stop the grin stretching across his face but he did restrain himself from pumping his fist in the air.

“But I think I’m going to do that. What you told me.” Finn stood and ran a hand across the back of his neck. “Think about how it felt helping people like that today.” He shook his head and turned back to Poe. “What that means to me.”

“Good.” Poe said and laid back down on the bed, definitely ready to pass out now.

“I’m going to hit the ‘Fresher before I crash.” Finn mumbled as he slid off his black t-shirt and tossed it into the hamper. Poe curled into himself at the sight and desperately tried not to seem like he was staring. “Whatever you say Doctor Finn.”

Finn laughed at that. “That’s a little much. It wasn’t like I was performing surgery out on the hanger.”

“Really?” Poe mumbled with a small smirk, his heart racing a little bit at thinking about Finn saying he wasn’t leaving him. The resistance part was just already part of the package, he told himself. He watched Finn move around their small shared space. “No open heart surgery? Delivering babies? Shoving tubes down people’s throats?”

“What are you going on about Poe?” Finn scoffed. “I haven’t performed a tracheotomy since I was twelve.”

“Hmm.” Poe mumbled, his eyes slowly falling shut before the words registered and they flew back open. “What?” He said and clumsily started to sit up but the ‘Fresher door was already closing and Finn was calling out, “Night.” Then room went dark again.

Poe flopped back onto his bed and ran his hands through his hair. “Stars Finn.” He mumbled and stared at the ceiling. This man would be the death of him.

“Night.” He whispered back. But he was wide awake.

**Author's Note:**

> So I feel like I have this headcannon that is a bit different from what people generally think of how the Order treats its Troopers. I think that the Order actually doesn't consider the lives of their troopers all that expendable. They’ve invested immense time and energy into training their soldiers; it even describes a lot of that in the prequel book "Before the Awakening". So I find it hard to imagine the Order not teaching the them how to save their fellow soldiers A.K.A. investments. Yes they have no room for dissent or disloyalty, but maybe with the Clones they were less concerned because they could just create more soldiers. But I don't know I just personally feel that it’s not the case with this new army. 
> 
> Also this is the last Pre-Slash chapter. Next chapter things will definitely change!


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